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I AM FEEDE FOR YOUR FEEDE's LiveJournal:
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| Thursday, April 27th, 2006 | | 3:51 pm |
| | Tuesday, March 14th, 2006 | | 10:59 pm |
Did it just get cooler in here?
You probably don't know, but yes it did just get much cooler in here. In case you haven't noticed, i've been doing a lot of pretty adult and out there things such as drinking and smoking lately, and as a result i am far more interesting than you might previously have thought. Did i mention that i go to bars? How silly of me, because i do. A lot, and to really good ones. I talk to a lot of people since you asked, and i run into friends everywhere i go. Did you know that i know a guy that works at a store? And that we talk whenever i go to the store because we're friends? Heh, thats right little nublets, i do, and i think that just goes to show how active my lifestyle is. Sometimes my schedule is so full that i have to say to my friends "i'm sorry i can't i've been drinking way too much with friends lately" but my friends dont mind because we're pretty close. I'm close to most people i know actually, you can probably tell by how often i mention them. Haha they're pretty crazy, just the other day we did something cool together. Maybe it was a festival or a show i can't remember, its hard to remember with me being so busy all the time. I dont think i've had a moment to catch my breath since goodness, maybe year 7 or when i was 3 like i said its pretty hard to take stock of all the things i do. Anyway to try and add some order to my wild and interesting life here is a list of the crazy things i've done lately: Monday: Drank at a bar, carried cigarrettes (didn't smoke any today, was too busy) Tuesday: Had a beer with a friend that i ran into. Drank a beer. Got invited to a party Wednesday: Hung out with *name drop*, got smashed on alcohol! Thursday: Saw the beautiful michael (neckfat) and smoked a ciggy Friday: Went to some obscure friends house and smoked pot with them. Also drank some stupid girly cocktail shit that sounds pretty impressive i'm sure you'll agree. Saturday: Bought something from a shop and went to a bar. Talked to the bartender and drank a beer. Got smashed and did something hilarious with *name drop* Sunday: Had a great time with such and such we did something insane and it really made me think how crazy they are and how much i love them. We should catch up! Anyway thats pretty much my life at the moment, pretty cool i know, but there is a darker side. I have a mysterious problem that i want you all to ask me about on my comments page. Your cue to do so will be a cryptic statement about some aspect of my life or possibly an unnamed person. I thought i loved you. I dont know what to do about my problem. My problem is almost under control thank you for the help of those of you who know. I am unsure about a decision in my life. I'm pretty busy and dont have enough time to tell you crazy strangers much more about my life, so feel free to indulge my ego and ask about any of the above statements. I will be sure to not answer straightforwardly at first but rest assured i want every person to know what i'm talking about. Keepin' it real ~*aaron*~ | | Friday, October 14th, 2005 | | 3:11 pm |
| | Wednesday, August 10th, 2005 | | 4:04 pm |
Condon Conference 2000
With the painful process of studying for Modern History underway, I cordially invite all fellow historians to procrastinate and post totally sweet and totally awesome pictures that are at least semi related to Modern History. I would also like to make it perfectly clear that Ancient History students are unwelcome and have no place here, however Bi-Curious Modern/Ancient students are brave young people that have the same rights as everybody else, and should be made to feel comfortable and "normal" when posting here. I expect to see at least one picture presented by the following people -Caroline Lam -Mitchell Bourke -Josh "Millsy" Mills -Michael Canagasabey -Slav Head -Jane "Millsy" Burret -Libby Lin -Rebecca Williams A special invitation is EXTENDED to our special EXTENSION history friends. It would be an honour if the following would grace our presence -Craig Lyons -Robert Chiarella -David Green -Craig Lyons -Melodie Blackah -Mr Pollock -Craig "Lyonsy" Craig I do not expect to see anything from Julian Kozianski as he does not know how to use the internet If you are a nice guy or girl you can also post i dont really care, the only exception is Amanda because this is an Amanda-Free zone Ok enough chatter, ( I'll start us off with these two completely dissimilar but both totally sweet pictures ) | | Monday, March 21st, 2005 | | 3:29 pm |
Birds of the feather, lets flock together
Here is an excellent picture of a duck that Kasun drew for me. Please feel free to post your own pictures of ducks here. ( Now entering a Pro-Duck Zone )You will notice that the picture is huge. Is this because: a) I want you to witness every masterful stroke applied to the paper by Kasun's steady yet masculine hand? b) I was too lazy to resize it c) I believe that all good things come in frustratingly large image format You decide. | | Monday, February 7th, 2005 | | 7:04 pm |
| | Friday, November 5th, 2004 | | 9:43 pm |
Mrs Sander: How To
Jurassic Park actually takes place in the Mesozoic Era, and the humans are actually dinosaurs who think they're humans because the comet just collided with Earth and has killed them all. So now, they think they're humans but are actually ghosts. The whole movie and existance as humans is an elaborate dream as the dinosaurs are observing their own primitive savageness from the point of view of another species. You can tell because the lawyer guy says "Let's get one thing straight. This is not a weekend excursion. This is a serious investigation of the stablility of the island. 24 hours from now, if they're not convinced, I'm not convinced." The lawyer is obviously referring to the gods, and when he says, "They'll shut ya down, John," he means that the dream will end and the dinosaurs will be extinct, because existance itself is just a dream. Actually, the entire movie is a metaphor for the human condition, and how we're like, living FAKE lives. Man. | | Monday, August 9th, 2004 | | 8:24 pm |
Why My Uncle Hates the Color Blue
My Uncle Richard was laying on what his wife told him was his "death bed for sure." I didn't spend a lot of time with him, just holidays, but he was my dad's only brother. He said, "Hit the fan. You feel that breeze?" "Yeah, chilly." "That's what dying feels like." "Nah," I stretched my hand up. "That's just what being in shorts and a singlet with the fan on feels like." "You're such a cunt, just listen. Have you ever picked up a cup with condensation on the side? Your hand just dies, son, just numbs up. What are you when you die? Numb as you can be!" He sat up. "I hate the color blue. It's so cold." I looked down at his pink hospital gown, then at the thermostat at 87 degrees. It wasn't like he was going senile or anything; he remembers everything, and he's always hated the color blue. "You're not dying." "I didn't say I was." | | Friday, July 30th, 2004 | | 3:02 pm |
Regarding Yeast Infections
You are a metabolic organism.
As such, you are basically a collection of replicative proteins that function according to metabolic chemical reactions and processes. A virus is similar, in that it too is a replicative protein complete with mutable DNA and RNA, just as you have. But viruses lack metabolism, and so may not be considered to be alive in the same manner that you definitely are.
You are a eukaryote.
All remaining organic life is distinguished by structural differences at the cellular level between different groups of prokaryotes (which are essentially bacteria) and the eukaryotes (us). Unlike bacterial or viral cells, our cells have a nucleus. Hence, all non-viral / bacterial lifeforms are as we are; eukaryotes.
You are an animal.
Now I've heard a few creationists argue that there are plants and there are animals and then there are human beings. And that none of them are actually related to one another other than through a common creator. They adamantly argue that we are not animals, as if there is some insult in that association. But you are one of only about a half-dozen kingdoms of eukaryotic life forms. Unlike those of most other biological kingdoms, you are incapable of manufacturing your own food and must compensate for that by ingesting other organisms. In other words, your most basic structure requires that you cause death to other living things. Otherwise, you wouldn't have a means of digestion. This, along with some very specific anatomical differences in the chemical composition of our metazoic cells, are the factors that define and distinguish an animal like yourself from all other kingdoms of life. Given the alternative choice between plants, molds, or fungus, animalia should seem reasonable even to the most adamant fundamentalist.
You are a chordate.
You have a spinal chord and every other minute physical distinction of that classification. You also have a skull, which classifies you as a craniate. Note: Not all chordates have skulls, or even bones of any kind. Once one of the chordates has enough calcium deposited around the brain to count as a skull, all of its descendants will share that. This is why absolutely all animals with skulls have spinal chords. And that is yet another commonality that implies common ancestry as opposed to common design.
You are a vertebrate.
Like all mammals, birds, dinosaurs, reptiles, amphibians, and most fish, you have a spine. Not everything with a spinal cord has a spine to put it in, but everything with a spine has a spinal cord in it, implying common descent.
Every animal that has a jaw and teeth (Gnathostomata) also has a backbone. And of course, you have both as well, again implying common descent.
You are a tetrapod.
You have only four limbs. So you are like all other terrestrial vertebrates including frogs. Even snakes and whales are tetrapods in that both still retain vestigial or fetal evidence of all four limbs. This is yet another consistent commonality implying a genetic relationship. There certainly is no creationist explanation for it.
You are synapsid.
Unlike turtles (which are anapsid) and "true" reptiles, dinosaurs and birds (which are all diapsid), your skull has only one temporal fenestra, a commonality between all of the vast collection of "mammal-like reptiles", which are now all extinct without any Biblical recognition or scriptural explanation either for their departure or their presence in the first place.
You are a mammal.
You are homeothermic (warm-blooded), follicle-bearing and have lactal nipples. And of course, not all synapsids are or were mammals, but all mammals are synapsid, implying common descent.
You are eutherian.
Or more specifically, you are a placental mammal, like most other lactal animals from shrews to whales. All eutherians are mammals, but not all mammals are eutherian. There are six major divisions in mammalia, only three of which still exist; those that hatch out of eggs like reptiles (monotremes), marsupials, that are born in the fetal stage and complete their development inside the mother's pouch, and those that developed in a shell-like placenta and were born in the infant stage, as you were. Your own fetal development seems to reveal a similar track of development from a single cell to a tadpole-looking creature, then growing limbs and digits out of your finlike appendages, and finally outgrowing your own tail. Some would consider this an indication of ancestry. Especially since fetal snakes, for example, actually have legs, feet, and cute little toes, which are reabsorbed into the body before hatching, implying common descent.
You are a primate.
You have five fully-developed fingers and five fully-developed toes. Your toes are still prehensile and your hands can grasp with dexterity. You have only two lactal nipples and they are on your chest as opposed to your abdomen. These are pointless in males, which also have a pendulous penis and a well-developed ceacum or appendix, unlike all other mammals. Although your fangs are reduced in size, you do still have them along with some varied dentition indicative of primates exclusively. Your fur is thin and relatively sparse over most of your body. And your claws have been reduced to flat chitinous fingernails. Your fingers themselves have distinctive print patterns. You are also susceptible to AIDS and are mortally allergic to the toxin of the male funnel web spider of Australia (which is deadly to all primates, but only dangerous to primates, which is why you'd better beware of these spiders). And unlike all but one unrelated animal in all the world, your body cannot produce vitamin-C naturally and must have it supplemented in your diet, just as all other primates do. Nearly every one of these individual traits are unique only to primates exclusively. There is almost no other organism on Earth that matches any one of these descriptions separately, but absolutely all of the lemurs, tarsiers, monkeys, apes, you, and I match all of them at once perfectly, implying common descent.
You are an ape.
Your tail is merely a stub of bones that don't even protrude outside the skin. Your dentition includes not only vestigial canines, but incisors, cuspids, bicuspids, and distinctive molars that come to five points interrupted by a "Y" shaped crevasse. This in addition to all of your other traits, like the dramatically increased range of motion in your shoulder, as well as a profound increase in cranial capacity and disposition toward a bipedal gait, indicates that you are not merely a vertebrate cranial chordate and a tetrapoidal placental mammalian primate, but you are more specifically an ape, and so was your mother before you.
Genetic similarity confirms morphological similarity rather conclusively, just as Charles Darwin himself predicted more than 140 years ago. While he knew nothing of DNA of course, he postulated that inheritable units of information must be contributed by either parent. He rather accurately predicted the discovery of DNA by illustrating the need for it. Our 98.4% to 99.4% identical genetic similarity explains why you have such social, behavioral, sexual, developmental, intellectual, and physical resemblance to a bonobo chimpanzee. Similarities that are not shared with any other organism on the planet. Hence you are both different species of the same literal family. In every respect, you are nearly identical. | | Monday, July 19th, 2004 | | 4:32 pm |
The Princess highway is in fact the Princes highway
The battle was not going well. General Bradley observed from the command post bunker on a nearby hill. He stared at his map, digesting the reports that had just been radioed in. “Shore up the Eastern flank, move second division here,” he said, stabbing his finger into the map. “Dammit, how do those Panzers still have fuel? We cut off their lines weeks ago.” No one answered him. A bored Colonel in a corner of the tent cleared his throat. “I guess you’re right, Eugene,” said General Bradley, “get the President.” ”Sir, there’s something I need to tell you,” said the Colonel. “Dammit, man, we don’t have time. Get the President.” “Yes sir,” said the Colonel. He got on the radio, made some archaic commands into it, and took a deep breath. “Release the President,” he finally said. The ambient noise of the command post fell silent. Even the gunfire and explosions outside in the battle seemed to have a pregnant pause. Moments passed. In the distance there was an inhuman wail. Then footsteps. Impossibly loud. Shockwaves fluttered in General Bradley’s coffee. They saw him crest the hill. A hundred million voices of Democratic fury contained in a forty foot reptile. The Delanosaurus tore into the enemy lines. Panzers were crushed like toys, bullets and artillery shells fell harmlessly from his Paleozoic skin. “Give ‘em hell, Franklin, give ‘em hell,” said General Bradley. And indeed he did. The President’s puny forearms were worthless in battle, but he more than made up for it with sweeps of his massive tail, and calculated strikes of his razor sharp maw. The Nazis were completely unprepared. A bright tank commander tried to mount a defense, lining up his Panzers in a backwards V, trying to draw the President into some sort of trap. Franklin would have no part of the lure. His impossibly tough body was matched only by the brilliance of his mind. There was a reason they put his brain in there. The President’s old body now withered on life support back in Washington. His new body was following in the traditions of Washington, Lincoln and Jackson, tasting the guts, blood and ichor of the enemy on his reptilian tongue. He flanked the Panzer division and began quickly and systematically tearing open tank after tank, crushing, tearing, devouring the Nazi army. They began to retreat, but the Delanosaurus would have no part of it. He leapt across the lines, gouged impassible trenches with his legs, all the while using his tiny arms to deftly pick up officers and crunch them down like Nazi candy. It was a massacre. It was a bloodbath. Before long, the fields were soaked through with the innards of the enemy. The Americans couldn’t even cheer; this carnage was too much for their bloodlust. The President, however, reveled in it. He began to roll around in the gore, confident that his work here was done and that it was the will of his people. His dull orange skin became brown, crusted in Nazi paste. He used his tail to make a pile of enemy corpses. Until then, few Americans had ever seen a dinosaur penis. But the entire Fourth Army saw one that day. It was almost unreal. It seemed to defy physics. When erect, the President’s penis was nearly as long as his tail, and stuck out wet and bright red from his belly. The nearly iridescent pink tip shone like a beacon of justice under the harsh spring sun. The beast let out another wail, and with a running start, plunged it into the pile of dead Germans. He began thrusting, monstrously powered thrusts. Limbs flew, blood spewed, hair and skin exploded from the pile. All the while, battle-hardened soldiers cried in the arms of their comrades or clutched themselves into fetal balls of fear. The President let out another wail, a more guttural sound this time, and half a ton of Electoral reptile spooge shot out of the pile of corpses. Body parts and reptile fluid rained down onto the wasteland. The beast let out a sigh, held his now limp cock in a stubby forearm and began raking up another pile of dead Nazis. “Please, no more,” whimpered a private. “What the hell is going on, Eugene,” asked General Bradley, trying to be staunch in the face of this merciless beast. “Sir, it’s what I was trying to tell you before,” said the Colonel, “it’s the problem with the secondary brain. The one in the tail, the problem with the dinosaurs…” “I thought you solved that…oh God, he’s getting a hard-on again,” said General Bradley. “We did, we had to use two brains, sir! It was the only way it would work! During battle, the President’s brain is in control, but after the battle, the other one takes over, oh God, it’s horrible!” said the Colonel. “Who’s brain did you use, Eugene?!? Who’s brain did you use?” said General Bradley. He was holding the Colonel up by his shirt, shouting into his face. “They had to be related, sir! They had to be the same genetic material! We had no choice!” said the Colonel. “Dammit, man, who’s brain did you use?” “It’s Teddy, sir, Teddy Roosevelt is in control now,” said the Colonel. General Bradley let go of his shirt, and dropped him to the floor, a sobbing, broken man. “Dear God,” said General Bradley, “God help us all.” | | Thursday, July 1st, 2004 | | 4:37 pm |
The Intruder
The Intruder is a silhouette and similar in shape to a Siamese cat. When sitting, it is about 7.5 feet tall. It has two overly large, slanted eyes, which glow a bright fluorescent green, and have no pupils. It blinks these eyes occasionally. Other than the eyes, it has no other discernable facial or body features. Whenever you enter your home after dark, The Intruder is always watching. It sits about 10 feet away from you in plain view. It remains immobile and does not even try to conceal its presence. While outside, it can only be seen by one person at a time. If it were to be within the sight range of two people then the first person who sees The Intruder would remain being able to see it while it would remain completely invisible to others. It emits no noises of its own. The only time it can be heard is when it is stretching its claws on a tree or your house siding. If you approach it then it will run away very quickly and violently, kicking up dirt and rocks. The sounds of the wind from The Intruder’s movements and flying debris from under The Intruder’s feet can be heard. If you were to throw an object toward it or discharge a firearm at it you would get the same effect. Once you turn back to the door to insert your key you will find that The Intruder has noiselessly returned to its previous position where it continues to watch you. Some say that The Intruder listens to your key hit the lock. They say that The Intruder can eventually ascertain the shape of your key simply by hearing the pins of your lock moving. It is unknown how many times The Intruder must hear you unlock your door before it can determine the exact shape of your key. You see, The Intruder wants to kill you, that is, if this creature is even capable of wanting anything. Perhaps it is better to say that it intends to kill you. However, The Intruder can only kill you inside your house, and may not force its way in. Furthermore, it cannot enter an empty house. You must already be at home in order for it to enter. If you were to run outside of your house once The Intruder enters, The Intruder will pursue you, drag you back inside, and then kill you. If you ever hear a key hitting your door in the dead of night then it may be The Intruder trying out the key that it has made. The Intruder only tries to use its keys when it is close to perfecting them, so if you do hear it trying to unlock your door then you can be certain that it will have a proper working key within a few nights. If you enter your house through another means, for example a garage or screen door, then you may suddenly find it inoperable from the outside, through both remote or attempted physical operation of the door. If you attempt to leave your door unlocked in order to prevent The Intruder from hearing the shape of your key, then you may be disappointed to find that the door has been locked by the time you arrive at home. If you hear a key hit your lock it is advised that you turn off all of your lights and attempt to push on the door to try and prevent The Intruder from entering, although it likely outweighs you. Once The Intruder enters your house all light sources above that of a candle become blinding to all inhabitants other that The Intruder. If you have time to light a candle then it is suggested, as this will still allow you to see the silhouette without becoming blinded. A very small advantage that you may have is that, once inside a home, all inhabitants are able to see The Intruder simultaneously. The Intruder will kill every human inside of the house. It will only attack pets if the animal chooses to engage The Intruder. Most animals choose not to engage The Intruder. The only time that the Intruder will make any noise of its own is during a kill strike. The Intruder will make a quick hissing sound during this strike, and will not make this noise again until it claims its next victim. The Intruder has never been known to kill anyone without hissing during the kill strike. It will usually try to completely disable its prey to the point where it cannot move before it makes the kill strike. It is thought that The Intruder prefers to disable its prey before a kill strike because the act of hissing may be the only time that it is vulnerable to damage. This is purely speculation however. I will now take questions | | Tuesday, June 22nd, 2004 | | 7:57 pm |
Jokes for ALL my friends!
Once upon a time there was a king named King John. He ruled a happy kingdom, because there were no taxes and free beer given out every day. Everyone was content except for one thing. That thing was that there was not much room to spread out. Everyone's gardens were just a little bit too small. King John was upset about this, for it was the only bad thing in his kingdom. One day, it was a Tuesday, he asked his advisors, "How are we going to solve this problem?". The advisors disappeared off into the pub and came back many hours later and said, "I love you mate, you know that? I do. I really do." Some time later, when they had sobered up a little they told the king what was to be done. This is what they said. "What you should do, your majesty, is invade the neighboring kingdom, ruled by the evil King *&$#. He is so evil, even his name has to be censored. We should gather an army and go and take some of his land." "That's a wicked idea" said King John, and promptly set up a poster campaign asking for volunteers for his army. Loads of people were big up for this idea, consequently the army was very large. It numbered 1024 people and a goat. After much preparation and training this huge army set off with the King to invade the kingdom of *&$#. I would however take many days to travel all that way, but they did not mind, for the prize was worth it - more land for all (including the goat). At the end of the first day the pitched camp, had a few beers, and some food, and fell asleep. When he awoke the next morning the king was shocked and upset to see that half of his proud army had been killed in the night. Only 512 remained. He was distraught, and ran around shouting for the others to get up. It was then that he saw, away in the distance, just going over the hilltop, a man. He was dressed all in white on a white horse. He had white boats and carried a white flag at the end of his white lance. King John yelled to the white man, but he ignored him. The king pulled himself together and sat down to breakfast. His advisors said, "Don't worry, your majesty. We have more than enough men to defeat King *&$#. We'll continue after breakfast". So they did. They journeyed all that day and by dusk were very tired, so they didn't have so much beer. The king wasn't taking any chances, so he posted guards around the camp. Then he went to sleep. Next morning he awoke and ran from his tent. "AAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH" he cried. Another half of his men had been killed. Just as they were counting exactly how many had been killed the king noticed the white horseman again. Dressed all in white he was riding away into the sunrise. The king spotted that the white man had totally white hair. The king was a bit annoyed by now, as only 256 remained from his once proud army, but had no choice but to continue on his quest. They traveled all day and in to the night, so that when the king finally called a halt, the men and him all slept straight away. The king woke first and could hear the sound of hooves outside his tent. He burst outside to see the white horseman galloping past his tent. In the horseman's arms there was a white guitar, which the man was playing as he disappeared off into the sun. Upon looking around he found that half of his men were dead. A mere 128 remained. The king was beside himself with rage, and the remaining men had to restrain him and calm him down. The sat down and came up with a new plan. "We'll have to take the enemy by stealth, as there aren't enough of us to kill them in a fight". His army, now looking small and a little worried, agreed and set off for a day's travel. They decided to take it easy that day and didn't travel more than about 10 miles. The sun set and they made camp. They ate their rations, which had increased enormously, and settled down to sleep. All night the king was plagued by visions of the white horseman. He woke in a cold sweat just as the sun was rising. He opened his tent door with a sense of trepidation. As he looked around it became clear that half of the remaining men lay dead. The king, almost resigned to defeat, just shrugged. "Come on everyone, we might as well get going. We might be able to defeat King *&$# with 64 men". Just then the white horseman burst out from behind a tent and started galloping away into the east. Once again he was playing his white guitar, and waving his white flag. The king shouted at him to stop, but he didn't even look back. The army packed up and started their long days march. They stopped just before nightfall and set up camp. As they were all very nervous about going to sleep, because they had seen so many of their friends murdered, they all decided to stay awake. Time passed and one by one they all nodded off. In the morning the king was awoken by the sound of shouting. He ran out of his tent and was met by some of his men. "Half of the men are dead", they said. The king just nodded and gave the order to march. As they were packing up the king saw the white horseman trotting off into the distance. He just waved and started off. All through that day the king tried in vain to think of a new plan which could be accomplished with 32 men. In the end he decided on a competition against the best of King *&$#'s men. The winner would take half of the other's lands. That night they set up camp in a wood. Because they had had to leave most of their provisions behind (there were not enough people to carry them) they hunted deer to eat. After they had eaten their food they all fell asleep. In the morning the king guessed what was going to happen, and he was right. Half his men lay dead and the white horseman was galloping off into the sunrise. As he galloped he was throwing white rose petals from a white bag and scattering them behind him. The king looked at his 16 men. "Well, we've come too far just to turn around and go back. We might as well try", he said. His men agreed and set off towards the *&$# kingdom. King John was going a little crazy in the head at this point. More than a thousand of his men had been killed while they slept, and he could do nothing about it. "Not tonight" the king said to himself. That evening they stopped a little earlier and built a tall fence around the camp. They put spikes on top of the fence and went to sleep. In the morning the king woke and burst from his tent. He was eager to see if his plan had succeeded. Alas it had not. Half the men were dead and there was a large hole in the fence. Peering through the hole the king saw the white horseman riding away. He was distraught. The 8 remaining men comforted him. "Maybe we can ask King *&$# for a treaty. Then we can share lands", they told the king. The king would not listen and gave the order to pack up and march. They rode fast all day and had covered 50 miles by nightfall. The king said nothing as he lay down to sleep. The men decided that half of them would remain awake and stand guard. They drew straws and settled down for a long night. In the morning the king woke up, stretched, and had a coffee before leaving his tent. He opened the tent flap cautiously and peered about. Four men remained alive. The others (the ones who had been on guard) were all dead. The king yelled as the white horseman rode past on his white horse, waving his white flag, playing his white guitar and scattering his white rose petals. The 4 men packed up what few possessions they could carry and set off. All that day the king sat on his horse and laughed to himself. When they eventually reached a place to camp they were very tired. They had been riding for days, they were hungry, thirsty and had seen many friends killed in their sleep. They sank down onto the ground and slept. "Oh. What a surprise", was the king sarcastic exclamation in the morning. "Half my men are dead. Only 2 remain. And there goes the white horseman off into the sunrise". He and his two men, Alan and Nala, set off. They were nearly at their destination, so they could not stop now. They rode and chatted about this and that. The king seemed in a very jovial mood. Alan and Nala thought that he was all right until he jumped off his horse and started attacking a tree because it was "looking at him funny". They thought that was a good time to stop for the night. They pitched their tents, one for the king and one for the two men, and slept a peaceful night. In the morning the king went outside and poked his head into the men's tent. One of them, Nala, was dead. He woke Alan and started looking about for the now familiar white horseman. He saw him just mounting his horse and ran after him. The king could not catch up with him, and came back to camp. He and Alan were one days march away from the castle of King *&$#, so they polished their armor and sharpened their swords. Then they rode off towards the castle. Near evening they saw the castle. It was huge and dark. They felt a little foolish turning up with the smallest army ever to try to take over this mighty army, but they could not travel home without trying so they pitched a tent and waited for morning. When the sun rose the king awoke to find that his last man had been killed. 1024 of his men had been killed while they slept. The king burst out of his tent. He was confronted with the white horseman. His clothes were white, his hair and beard were white, he carried a white guitar, and there were white rose petals scattered on the ground by his feet. The white man looked a little on worried and edged slowly towards his white horse. "Have you been killing all my men while they've been asleep?" asked King John. "No", replied the man. | | Saturday, June 19th, 2004 | | 10:03 pm |
My first time
Sarah was really cute and I knew she liked me. I invited her to my house to study one Friday afternoon, and she said yes. Not long after she arrived, the homework was forgotten, and we were making out. She let me place my hands under her shirt, and I started to caress her breasts. Then I slowly slid my hand lower, and down under her skirt. Slowly my fingers crept into her panties, and soon they were inside of her. I was fumbling around slightly, but I could tell she was enjoying it. She started to breathe heavier, and then she leaned into me, began to moan, and nibbled at my earlobe. I removed my now wet hand, along with Sarah's panties, and unzipped my pants and lowered them. Sarah stared at my cock for a moment, and said she'd never actually seen a penis before. She reached out and stroked my semi-hard manhood, and soon I had a full erection. She continued stroking, and I simply leaned my head back and enjoyed the moment. She leaned forward and tentatively placed it in her mouth. She slowly slid it in and out of her mouth, really getting into it. I could feel her tongue moving around on the base and head of my cock, and the heat of her mouth was bringing me close to the edge. I told her to slow down or I'd cum, but at hearing this, she continued even faster, and began to massage my balls as well. She took my cock out of her mouth and stroked it while licking and sucking at my balls. I could barely get out the words, warning her that I was about to cum. She quickly placed the tip of my penis in her mouth and began to suck and twirl her tongue, and I exploded her mouth. She gagged a little at first, but quickly swallowed every drop, then kissed the entire length of my penis and down to my balls. She sat back up and we made out for a moment before she lay on her back and hoisted up her skirt. I guided my still-hard cock towards her pussy, and slowly worked it in. There was no blood, and I asked if she was a virgin. She said yes but she had lost her hymen in a bike accident a few years before. I continued pushing in, and found she was telling the truth. She was amazingly tight, but I could tell she was enjoying herself, despite the temporary pain of being stretched for the first time. I managed to get the entire length of my cock inside of her, and then I began to slowly pump away. As I gradually increased my speed, she started moaning, and I could tell she was ready for another orgasm. I started to speed up even more, and soon I was close to cumming, as well. A few more pumps, and I began to shoot my second load deep inside of her, and I felt her tighten. She arched her back and let out a deep moan. Both of us were gasping for breath, and I fell on top of her. We kissed for a short while and I pulled out of her, and watched as my seed spilled from her. I kissed her again and asked if she'd let me try something different. She agreed, and I led her into my bedroom. I asked her to strip, and got naked myself, and then handcuffed her arms and legs to my bedposts. She said she'd fantasized about doing stuff like this when she masturbated, but never thought she'd be doing it on her first time. I kissed her, and then went into the garage. I came back with the duct tape and the power drill. She asked what I had planned, and I placed a strip of duct tape over her mouth. Then I leaned in close and whispered in her ear, "I want to fuck every part of your flesh." She started to squirm, and tried to scream, but the tape held strong, and all that came out was a whimper. I turned on the drill and started stroking my cock, and drove it into her stomach. Blood sprayed everywhere, as tears streamed down Sarah's face and she thrashed about. It only made me harder. I put down the drill, and inserted my cock into the new whole I had made. I started pounding away while Sarah struggled to remain conscious, still crying and trying to scream. As I fucked the unnatural hole, I leaned forward and started to kiss her shoulder, and then I dug my teeth into the soft flesh and rend a large chunk out. She passed out, and I ate her shoulder flesh as I came into her stomach. As the night progressed, I continued drilling into her body. Her breasts, her sides, her ass (both the asshole and the cheeks), her legs, her arms. She had died long before I finished, which allowed me to drill a hole and fuck her still warm brain. I loved every part of Sarah, and as I made love to the whole of her being, I continued to eat what I had not loved. I would be in her, and she in me. By the time the sun rose, she had received the fullest of my love, and only half of her body still had flesh. I went back into the kitchen, and returned with the proper tools to carve off what remained. I sliced all the meat into smaller pieces, and placed it all in the fridge, that I might enjoy Sarah's love for weeks to come. I washed her bones clean, and admired how beautiful even they were. I buried them in the back yard, and burned my sheets, along with Sarah's book bag and clothes, under a pile of leaves. In the weeks to come, I and my family, however unwittingly, would enjoy the passionate flavor of Sarah, and I will always love her for that. And that's the story of my first time. | | Friday, March 5th, 2004 | | 4:50 pm |
Namplifying Nams, a descent into Nam.
Repeat x2] My namshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, its better than yours, nam right its better than yours, i can teach nam, but i have to charge I know you want it, the thing that makes nam, what the nams go crazy for. They lose their minds, the way i wind, i think its nam [Chorus x2] la la-la la la, warm it up. lala-lalala, the boys are waiting My namshake brings all the nams to the yard, and they're like, its better than nam, nam right its better than nam, i can teach you, but i have to nam i can see youre on nam, you want me to teach the techniques that freaks these nams, it can't be bought, just know, nams get caught, watch if your nam, [Chorus x2] la la-la la la, nam it up, la la-la la la, the nams are waiting, My namshake brings all the nams to the nam, and nams like, its better than nam, nam right its better than nam, i can teach nam, but i have to nam Once you get nam, nam will look this way-so, you must maintain your nam, same time namtain your halo, just get the perfect nam, plus what you nam within, then next his nams are squint, then he's picked up your nam, [Chorus x2] lala-lalala, nam it nam, lala-lalala, the nams are nams, My namshake nams all the nams to the nam, and nams like, nams better nam nam, nam right nams better than nam, i can nam nam, but i nam to nam nam nam, nam-a-nam nam nam | | Tuesday, December 30th, 2003 | | 10:00 am |
d_evil
Evil Incarnate This song was originally written for Wolfenstein which only supported FM synthesizers. In order to get into the mood for it, I rented a movie about the infamous "Doctor of Auschwitz" and watched it until I was totally infuriated. This song was the result of the feeling of evil that came over me thinking about the terrible things the Nazis did. During the development of DOOM II, a decision was made (by John Romero, I think) to include at least one Wolfenstein level. This song had been one of John Carmack's favorites in Wolfenstein, so I translated the FM file to a general MIDI file. The FM version had an instrument that sounded like footsteps (for soldiers marching), and I had to try to find a similar sound among the 128 standard instruments that make up the general MIDI standard. It turned out that the gunshot patch (general MIDI instruments include several sound effects) would work if I played a very low octave note for a relatively short time. One would call this "using an instrument patch by abusing it." The problem with doing this is that not all sound cards have the same effect when you abuse individual instruments. Such is the case here. On some wavetable synths, these "footsteps" last long enough that you begin to hear the richochet part of the gunshot. On the Roland Sound Canvas and the Yamaha MU-80, it does sound like many soldiers marching. Such incompatibilities and quirks are the price one pays for trying to make something do what it was not really intended to do. Dedicated to the owner and proprieter of my mantrain, Mathew Read | | Sunday, December 28th, 2003 | | 9:25 am |
d_romero
Waiting For Romero To Play This song was easily named. You wouldn't believe how people in the id Software offices used to line up to watch John Romero play DOOM. Long before the sound effects were in the game, John would provide his own, and he was good at making a lot of sound effects with his mouth. But, the reason that people lined up to watch him play was that he put everything he had into playing the game. If it was a deathmatch, look out! John threw a constant barrage of taunts, screams and other sounds at the opposing players. One day I noticed how quiet things got while people were gathering to watch and I decided to do some pensive music to go with such times. Thus, the song became "Waiting For Romero To Play." John has now left id Software to form his own company. There are better players at id, but none of them will ever have people lining up in anticipation of watching them play as John did. I know that id Software will sorely miss the manic energy that John Romero provided. -Dedicated to the 1st mate of my mantrain, Daniel Butkovich | | Friday, December 19th, 2003 | | 1:41 am |
d_in_cit
Into Sandy's City When I was composing the songs for DOOM, I did not get to see any finished levels. In the case of DOOM II, there were some levels that changed very little from the very early days of development. One of these was what I called "Sandy's City" because it was a level designed by Sandy Peterson. Everyone loved playing that level and I decided that I had to write a song that sounded sorta "city-like." This song was the result. Originally I had a piano playing the part that the harpsichord is playing but no one at id liked the idea of a piano in any of the music. As a joke, I (caroline is a wan|<er sluttt) changed the patch to the harpsichord. I expected everyone to voice opposition, but everyone seemed to like it -- so, I left it in!
Sandy's City level made it into DOOM II, but there were several changes (made to raise the frame rate, I think). To me, the changes made the level less fun to play (but it's still a great level, especially for deathmatch). | | Thursday, December 18th, 2003 | | 11:46 am |
d_ddtblu
The Dave D. Taylor Blues Between DOOM and DOOM II, I worked with John Carmack and Dave Taylor at id to help port Wolfenstein to a video game platform. At that time Dave was doing the sound code for the port and I was designing the instrument samples and tweaking the MIDI files to keep the number of notes to a minimum. Somewhere along the line, Dave mentioned something about a blues song and it stuck in my mind. When I wrote the music for DOOM II, that idea became a song which I named in honor of Dave. Dave has since left id Software to go with his own company, Crack Dot Com. That is the company that developed Abuse which is now distributed by Origin. This song follows the "classical" blues chord progression, which is 12 bars long. The chord progression is as follows (a slash separates each measure and each measure has four beats): I / I / I / I / IV / IV / I / I / V7 / IV / I / I / In the key of E, the I would be an E, the IV would be an A and the V7 would be B7. Listen for the echo on the rhythm guitar. This is one of the first songs where I experimented with doing a MIDI echo. The idea is to play a note and hold it. Then you play the same note over and over again, reducing the volume of each succeeding note. The results are an echo that is almost as good as those played through digital reverberation/echo units. It sounds like some of the original analog tape echo units of the 60's. The lead for this song gets pretty wierd starting at about 3 minutes 37 seconds, but I love the dissonance it causes. It is the same dissonance I felt the first time I played DOOM -- a feeling of almost standing up straight while almost falling on one's butt at the same time. | | Wednesday, December 17th, 2003 | | 9:21 am |
d_e3m3
Deep Into The Code If everyone at id Software worked as long and hard as John Carmack, id Software would be absolutely untouchable by any competition. Everyone else at id Software would answer this by saying that they have a life outside of developing games! John would answer that he does too, but he'd rather be programming all of the time :) The reason I bring this up is that while I was at id during the development of DOOM, I stayed in the office many, many hours myself (after all, that's where all of my transplanted music toys were located). As a result of long hours at the office, John and I were often there at the same wee hours of the night. John would only leave his office to nab a coke or run to the mens' room -- that is except when he had something special programmed and wanted someone to see it. Those kinds of things happen a lot around John, too. He is always coming up with some cool addition to his engines. Many times in those wee hours, I would come to a point where I couldn't make positive progress toward completing a song or a sound effect. I would go out into the then main room where a pool table sat and just roll the balls around the table. I could look into John's office and he would be sitting there in a world of his own, oblivious to anything else going on. When I worked on this song, I took a break at the pool table and saw John working away. That's when the name of this song hit me. | | Tuesday, December 16th, 2003 | | 12:42 pm |
d_e2m2
The Demons From Adrian's Pen This song was inspired by watching Adrian Carmack, the lead artist at id Software, while he was touching up the artwork on the Spider Boss in Doom. Adrian conceived the demons in Doom. He starts out doing a pencil sketch. The sketch is then either transferred into computer art by hand or it is made into a model which is then digitized. The digitizing of the model sounds simple, but there is much that has to be done before digitized artwork can be used. A good "bit level artist" is worth his/her weight in gold when it comes to superior game art work. Starting about 1 minute and 12 seconds into the song you will hear a musical technique that helps to keep a song interesting without being obvious. What the composer does is change the feel of the downbeat. There are many ways to do this, but in this case, I started playing the bass drum/snare drum parts an 8th note later than it had been played up to that time. This makes the music feel like it is pushing ahead while seeming to rotate or turn around. It's almost the same thing as causing a car to start spinning out of control. At 1 minute 36 seconds, the "car" all of a sudden jerks back out of the spin. |
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